Father and Son

My father woke me up one time in the wee hours of the night. It was still dark outside, yet grey lights peeked into our home. I didn't know what was going on until he told me that I'm going with him. Going where? He want me to come with him and travel to Toledo and Balamban. I didn't know how far those places were. I've heard of them before but I didn't know if my body wanted to ride a bus, let alone stand up. I didn't even know why he had to do this when he had a job. Did he resigned or was he kicked out of the company. I was too young to understand. All I want was a good night sleep.

And here I was at this bus, the smell of the diesel and smoke at 4 o'clock in the morning was excruciating. Couldn't he just do this on his own? Why does he have to wake me up? Can't he just do it by himself? Besides, he's supposed the breadwinner of the family. Questions raced through my mind as I fought to go back to sleep while sitting at my seat.

Mind you, it was a 3-hour long trip. My butt sored from the bumps and turns of the bus. It was a Sunday morning, and I should be asleep by now and should be playing with the kids in my neighborhood. And now, all that is gone because my father thought it was a good idea to bring his eldest son to a trip.

He doesn't smile a lot. And when he does, it was with his friends. But not to us. He was always grudging and angry, ready to throw us out of the window if we did something wrong. One time he threw at the corner home because I punched him in the face after he tickled me so hard. Did I really punch him? I couldn't remember. But then again, I was too young.

After twenty years I realized what he was trying to do. I am the eldest of eight siblings and he wanted me to take charge of the things he couldn't do alone. At first I thought, "It sucks to be the eldest." But I have a responsibility to do. A responsibility, a crown I must take head on, no matter how difficult it is.

He was trying to show me how hard life is, the reality of being a father. I didn't realize it then because we were well-off. Everything were provided to us - clothing, education, food; all the basic necessities a child could have. But not the love. He couldn't show it to us because he himself had some battles to fight.

I couldn't forget what he told me that day, "One day you'll travel on your own and have your own family. But remember this, your destiny is yours and yours alone. Never let anyone take it from you."